2 Year Locversary!!!!

August 28th marked 2 years with my babies!

What was the biggest lesson I've learned in these 2 years? Research and experiment! Research and experiment! I still use the Jamaican Mango & Lime products (tingle shampoo, gel for retwists, & cactus leave-in conditioner.) I have also added monthly ACV (apple cider vinegar) and baking soda rinses, biweekly shampoos, Cantu Shea Butter for direct scalp moisturizing and water/oil spritzes (shea butter, olive, cocoa butter & tea tree.) My hair LOVES this routine. It's thriving, it's thick and they get A LOT of compliments. And, they smell great inbetween washes (the hubs can't keep his nose out of my hair and he sleeps on my pillow - go figure.)

Remember the problem with build-up? Thing of the past. It took lots of work, but it's gone. No gunk comes out of these dreads when they're wet!

How did I come upon this? Reading different blogs, visiting websites, asking questions. Getting opinions. Just trying out different products and techniques. And most importantly, listening to my hair. When it loved something, I kept it. If it didn't, I tossed it. My hair has never been this long and thick. So, I know everything is good.

See pics below for a comparison.



This is me in October 2010 - the beginning lengths of my locs varied,
but they ranged from an inch to 1 1/2.





August 28th - See how much they have grown?!?



The TWA

I read about people either loving their TWA to death or missing it because they’re rocking some other hairdo.  Well…

I’m not one of them. I didn’t hate my afro, but I wasn’t madly in love with it, either. It was nicely shaped, thick and hard to manage. Wet or dry, it was somewhat painful to comb (it broke teeth in afro combs.) My ex-braider had to wet it to make it a little easier to part. My ends sounded like firecrackers when I combed it. No matter what I did to moisturize it or how often I washed my hair with endless bottles of moisturizing 2-in-1 shampoos, it was never soft to touch. The only good thing about my ‘fro is that my daughter was rocking a baby one – and she looked damned cute, too. We matched so it was easy to see where my daughter inherited her good-looks. LOL.

Eventually, I decided to lock my hair and I didn’t look back. I haven’t even shed a tear since my babies took up residence on my scalp. My daughter’s afro is thick and beautiful, but LAWD do I have a time trying to do that chick’s hair (her hair is a hodgepodge of mine and her father’s textures so I do ponytails and twists.) But, is there something wrong with me not missing or caring for the TWA? Should I feel guilty about my indifference toward the beloved TWA?

The Chosen Ones - Loc

My current crop is my 2^nd set. My 1^st set, back in the Spring/Summer of 2006, were professionally installed. I was 26. Those dreads were bigger than a #2 pencil and a funky honey blonde color that was done by moi. Just like now, I decided then to do them myself so I could save money and learn about them with hands on training. In February 2007, I found out I was pregnant and decided to go back to braids because I thought braids would last longer and would require less maintenance. So, I said goodbye to my locs and hello to micros. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in May of that same year. For the next 3 years, I cycled through micros, box braids and sew-ins trying to find the one that made me feel like the fierce and fabulous woman I KNEW I was. Eventually it dawned on me-when I had my locs, I didn’t feel like I was going in circles (that was July 2010.) And, locs would give me the look of long, flowing braids with it being ALL MY HAIR! In August, I started my locs and I’ve been fearlessly rockin’ them ever since.

Now it’s 2012 and my 2 year anniversary is approaching. A lot of things have happened in my life (some good and not so good) and like a faithful friend, my dreads have been there for me. They aren’t the funky blonde I had before, but I have big plans for my babies, especially if I can successfully start my own business so I won’t have to worry about my appearance being inappropriate for the workplace. I like to think every bump in my dreads and their fuzziness are symbolic of my life….their growth is a reflection of my own growth.

C’mon, share your story and include a pic or two, we would love to hear it!

Child Support F*@kery, Part Two

According to www.south-carolina-divorce.com , child support in South Carolina uses a formula based on the following items:

The combined gross income of the mother and the father.
 Each parent’s gross income as a percentage of the combined gross income.
Any pre-existing obligation to pay child support or alimony.
The number of minor children of the parties.
The amount paid for work-related child care.
The amount paid for health insurance for the children, and the party responsible for paying it.
The number of overnights per year with each parent.

On paper, the formula looks fair, right? This formula assumes both parents work, but as far as the last item, I don’t know if it assumes the parents in question share custody. My thing is, why doesn’t it say that both parents are REQUIRED to work? I mean, both parents contributed DNA to the child by lying down to perform the act that created said child. 9 out of 10 times the father is the only one working and the mother decides she’s going to mash her behind because now she has gotten the state to dig in the father’s pockets. If she’s not working (in the state of South Carolina, the mother is normally granted custody,) why is work-related child care a factor? SHE’S NOT DOING ANYTHING!!!! SHE CAN’T WATCH HER OWN KID(S)?!?  Once the child support issue has been settled, you know what’s next – applying for and getting all the government assistance she can get so she can chill. Here’s an idea – make her earn that shit. Yes, that’s right, give that woman a job. Help her set-up a small daycare in her home, requiring her to work at least 40 hours week. This way, she can help women who do believe in taking care of their children by holding down a job. If the home daycare idea isn’t plausible, talk with some businesses to establish a network that provides part-time jobs to these women. The bottom line is this – women shouldn’t be allowed to get so much child support and government assistance that they don’t want nor have to work. It’s not healthy for her and it’s not good for the children, especially the girls, to see this lack of drive. They don’t need to witness such manipulation. And, this can be the welfare queen’s contribution to their community.

**SHRUGS SHOULDERS** It’s just a thought, at least.

Random Stuff 3

Sorry I have been M.I.A. lately. I've had a lot going on my life, some good, some bad. All in all though, I'm just rolling like a stone and making it do what it do. One recent little ray of sunshine: I finally landed a job. It wasn't the result of posting/sending numerous resumes to several different job postings online and in the newspaper. This was the result of knowing someone who knew someone and even though it isn't my dream job, it's a job. The gig starts next week and LAWD a sista is happy . . . I miss those paychecks! Also, I want to start my daughter in some sort pre-K/daycare to help her get a head start in school and naturally, that costs MONEY. She also needs to be around other 3 year-olds because this chick is just too grown from hanging around us grownfolk. So, it's going to be good for her and anything that's good for my daughter is freakin awesome for me. Anyway, I hope to do a little better with my posting from now on and get back on my normal schedule (fingers crossed.) Also, I hope the new job won't throw me off too much.

My two year locaversary approaches - YESSSS!!! I swell with pride at that realization - my locs haven't popped off, they've gotten longer and I've learned so much in general about myself and my locs. That, my friends, will be another post at a later date.

Ok, that's enough about me and I should be up to date. What's good with all of you?

Child Support F*@kery, Part One

 I’m gonna catch some flak for this one. Maybe a little…maybe A LOT.

Let me start off by saying that I’m not against child support nor harbor ill will towards some people that receive it. Notice I said “some.” As long as it’s being used for the good of the child, I’m all for it. For those of you who are always clean and fresh but your kids (all 5+ of them) look busted…I have a problem with YOU. Before some of you start yammering – I am a mother of one. ONE. I chose to have only one because one is what I know I can comfortably take care of on my own. Again, before you start poppin lip – her father and I are together, happily holdin it down. My daughter may not look like a rich kid, but she doesn’t look like an orphan, either. Her clothes and shoes are clean and they FIT, her hair is fixed and she’s an extremely healthy soon to be 3 year old. Don’t get it twisted.

There are too many instances of women collecting exorbitant amounts of child support and the money isn’t being used properly. The father still has to come out of pocket for clothes and other items because the children visit him in dirty clothes carrying dirty clothes. Chances are these same women are given SNAP benefits/EBT and the children still complain about not having enough food to eat when they visit their fathers. ABC vouchers are also handed out and these women send their kids to daycare not so they can at least work a P/T gig, but so they can lay up with their boyfriend, practicing making more kids. Or, they’ve got some side hustle they don’t want the little ones to see. Mom is dressed in  brand new Baby Phat, stilettos, freshly weaved up with recently done, ridiculously long gel nails, her boyfriend is dressed down in Coogi, limited edition Jordans and a fitted cap and the kids…look like orphans when they go out. Hand-me-downs, shoes run over to one side and no haircut or hairdo. Not even some simple cornrows.

Huh? What the f#@k?

You then talk about how hard you have it, trying to raise your “babies” that you love so much; you even call them by name out in public knowing good and well when you guys are at home they are little “niggas.” Your baby daddy (or in some cases, daddies) isn’t/aren’t paying enough child support you tell any and every one who’ll listen…you tell your kids every chance you get, “your father ain’t s%#t” even though he’s forced, by the courts, to give you at least half of his paycheck plus carry insurance (health, dental and vision) on the kids that you made together. You work HARD at taking care of kids. Yet, you aren’t required to pay anything. You aren’t even forced to work. You just sit back and chill.

Yeah, right. You work hard, alright…work hard at being trifling. END OF STORY. PERIOD.

TO BE CONTINUED….

Product Review – Jamaican Mango & Lime Locking Crème Wax

When I first wore locks, they were installed with lemon juice and Jamaican Mango & Lime Wax. The young lady who worked her magic sang its praises to the high heavens and said it was the best thing smoking. I went to her 2 more times (every two weeks.) Of course, I asked questions about dreadlock care because my intention was to do it myself. For the life of me, I can’t remember if we discussed wax buildup nor can I remember if I had buildup in my dreads. However, I can remember the waxy, tacky feeling left behind after every retwist that hung around for a good 3 to 5 days.

Fast forward to August 2010 & my 2^nd set of locs. This time, a locking/twist gel was used. I went back once more for a retwist about 3 weeks later. Like the first visit, the gel left my baby dreads white and flaky with an incredibly dry scalp to boot. I wasn’t feeling any of that. So, when it came time for my next wash and retwist, I purchased and used Jamaican Mango & Lime Wax Crème. This product contains petrolatum, mineral oil, micocrystaline wax, D&C yellow #11 and fragrance (parfum.) I’m quite sure you see the BIG no-no’s ingredient in the list – petrolatum and wax. Although not as heavy as it’s sibling, the wax crème still leaves a tackiness that weighs down my usually light dreads. And yes, I have build-up because I have been using it religiously and applying “generously” as instructed to do on the container instead of going the less is more route. But, I will say this – once my dreads absorb it, they are super soft and shiny. There’s no itchy scratchy scalp or flakes. On top of that, they smell great. I love that herbal, natural smell. However, there’s still that buildup!

Will I continue to use the wax crème? Ummm….no. With this buildup, I don’t really have a choice. My next wash and retwist is coming around, so I will start experimenting with some locking gels to find one my dreads will love. In the meantime, I have to work on getting the rest of this buildup out.

What do you use when you retwist? Any suggestions on a good locking gel that doesn’t leave my dreads looking like they’ve been frosted?