The TWA

I read about people either loving their TWA to death or missing it because they’re rocking some other hairdo.  Well…

I’m not one of them. I didn’t hate my afro, but I wasn’t madly in love with it, either. It was nicely shaped, thick and hard to manage. Wet or dry, it was somewhat painful to comb (it broke teeth in afro combs.) My ex-braider had to wet it to make it a little easier to part. My ends sounded like firecrackers when I combed it. No matter what I did to moisturize it or how often I washed my hair with endless bottles of moisturizing 2-in-1 shampoos, it was never soft to touch. The only good thing about my ‘fro is that my daughter was rocking a baby one – and she looked damned cute, too. We matched so it was easy to see where my daughter inherited her good-looks. LOL.

Eventually, I decided to lock my hair and I didn’t look back. I haven’t even shed a tear since my babies took up residence on my scalp. My daughter’s afro is thick and beautiful, but LAWD do I have a time trying to do that chick’s hair (her hair is a hodgepodge of mine and her father’s textures so I do ponytails and twists.) But, is there something wrong with me not missing or caring for the TWA? Should I feel guilty about my indifference toward the beloved TWA?

The Chosen Ones - Loc

My current crop is my 2^nd set. My 1^st set, back in the Spring/Summer of 2006, were professionally installed. I was 26. Those dreads were bigger than a #2 pencil and a funky honey blonde color that was done by moi. Just like now, I decided then to do them myself so I could save money and learn about them with hands on training. In February 2007, I found out I was pregnant and decided to go back to braids because I thought braids would last longer and would require less maintenance. So, I said goodbye to my locs and hello to micros. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in May of that same year. For the next 3 years, I cycled through micros, box braids and sew-ins trying to find the one that made me feel like the fierce and fabulous woman I KNEW I was. Eventually it dawned on me-when I had my locs, I didn’t feel like I was going in circles (that was July 2010.) And, locs would give me the look of long, flowing braids with it being ALL MY HAIR! In August, I started my locs and I’ve been fearlessly rockin’ them ever since.

Now it’s 2012 and my 2 year anniversary is approaching. A lot of things have happened in my life (some good and not so good) and like a faithful friend, my dreads have been there for me. They aren’t the funky blonde I had before, but I have big plans for my babies, especially if I can successfully start my own business so I won’t have to worry about my appearance being inappropriate for the workplace. I like to think every bump in my dreads and their fuzziness are symbolic of my life….their growth is a reflection of my own growth.

C’mon, share your story and include a pic or two, we would love to hear it!

Child Support F*@kery, Part Two

According to www.south-carolina-divorce.com , child support in South Carolina uses a formula based on the following items:

The combined gross income of the mother and the father.
 Each parent’s gross income as a percentage of the combined gross income.
Any pre-existing obligation to pay child support or alimony.
The number of minor children of the parties.
The amount paid for work-related child care.
The amount paid for health insurance for the children, and the party responsible for paying it.
The number of overnights per year with each parent.

On paper, the formula looks fair, right? This formula assumes both parents work, but as far as the last item, I don’t know if it assumes the parents in question share custody. My thing is, why doesn’t it say that both parents are REQUIRED to work? I mean, both parents contributed DNA to the child by lying down to perform the act that created said child. 9 out of 10 times the father is the only one working and the mother decides she’s going to mash her behind because now she has gotten the state to dig in the father’s pockets. If she’s not working (in the state of South Carolina, the mother is normally granted custody,) why is work-related child care a factor? SHE’S NOT DOING ANYTHING!!!! SHE CAN’T WATCH HER OWN KID(S)?!?  Once the child support issue has been settled, you know what’s next – applying for and getting all the government assistance she can get so she can chill. Here’s an idea – make her earn that shit. Yes, that’s right, give that woman a job. Help her set-up a small daycare in her home, requiring her to work at least 40 hours week. This way, she can help women who do believe in taking care of their children by holding down a job. If the home daycare idea isn’t plausible, talk with some businesses to establish a network that provides part-time jobs to these women. The bottom line is this – women shouldn’t be allowed to get so much child support and government assistance that they don’t want nor have to work. It’s not healthy for her and it’s not good for the children, especially the girls, to see this lack of drive. They don’t need to witness such manipulation. And, this can be the welfare queen’s contribution to their community.

**SHRUGS SHOULDERS** It’s just a thought, at least.

Random Stuff 3

Sorry I have been M.I.A. lately. I've had a lot going on my life, some good, some bad. All in all though, I'm just rolling like a stone and making it do what it do. One recent little ray of sunshine: I finally landed a job. It wasn't the result of posting/sending numerous resumes to several different job postings online and in the newspaper. This was the result of knowing someone who knew someone and even though it isn't my dream job, it's a job. The gig starts next week and LAWD a sista is happy . . . I miss those paychecks! Also, I want to start my daughter in some sort pre-K/daycare to help her get a head start in school and naturally, that costs MONEY. She also needs to be around other 3 year-olds because this chick is just too grown from hanging around us grownfolk. So, it's going to be good for her and anything that's good for my daughter is freakin awesome for me. Anyway, I hope to do a little better with my posting from now on and get back on my normal schedule (fingers crossed.) Also, I hope the new job won't throw me off too much.

My two year locaversary approaches - YESSSS!!! I swell with pride at that realization - my locs haven't popped off, they've gotten longer and I've learned so much in general about myself and my locs. That, my friends, will be another post at a later date.

Ok, that's enough about me and I should be up to date. What's good with all of you?