2 Year Locversary!!!!

August 28th marked 2 years with my babies!

What was the biggest lesson I've learned in these 2 years? Research and experiment! Research and experiment! I still use the Jamaican Mango & Lime products (tingle shampoo, gel for retwists, & cactus leave-in conditioner.) I have also added monthly ACV (apple cider vinegar) and baking soda rinses, biweekly shampoos, Cantu Shea Butter for direct scalp moisturizing and water/oil spritzes (shea butter, olive, cocoa butter & tea tree.) My hair LOVES this routine. It's thriving, it's thick and they get A LOT of compliments. And, they smell great inbetween washes (the hubs can't keep his nose out of my hair and he sleeps on my pillow - go figure.)

Remember the problem with build-up? Thing of the past. It took lots of work, but it's gone. No gunk comes out of these dreads when they're wet!

How did I come upon this? Reading different blogs, visiting websites, asking questions. Getting opinions. Just trying out different products and techniques. And most importantly, listening to my hair. When it loved something, I kept it. If it didn't, I tossed it. My hair has never been this long and thick. So, I know everything is good.

See pics below for a comparison.



This is me in October 2010 - the beginning lengths of my locs varied,
but they ranged from an inch to 1 1/2.





August 28th - See how much they have grown?!?



The TWA

I read about people either loving their TWA to death or missing it because they’re rocking some other hairdo.  Well…

I’m not one of them. I didn’t hate my afro, but I wasn’t madly in love with it, either. It was nicely shaped, thick and hard to manage. Wet or dry, it was somewhat painful to comb (it broke teeth in afro combs.) My ex-braider had to wet it to make it a little easier to part. My ends sounded like firecrackers when I combed it. No matter what I did to moisturize it or how often I washed my hair with endless bottles of moisturizing 2-in-1 shampoos, it was never soft to touch. The only good thing about my ‘fro is that my daughter was rocking a baby one – and she looked damned cute, too. We matched so it was easy to see where my daughter inherited her good-looks. LOL.

Eventually, I decided to lock my hair and I didn’t look back. I haven’t even shed a tear since my babies took up residence on my scalp. My daughter’s afro is thick and beautiful, but LAWD do I have a time trying to do that chick’s hair (her hair is a hodgepodge of mine and her father’s textures so I do ponytails and twists.) But, is there something wrong with me not missing or caring for the TWA? Should I feel guilty about my indifference toward the beloved TWA?

The Chosen Ones - Loc

My current crop is my 2^nd set. My 1^st set, back in the Spring/Summer of 2006, were professionally installed. I was 26. Those dreads were bigger than a #2 pencil and a funky honey blonde color that was done by moi. Just like now, I decided then to do them myself so I could save money and learn about them with hands on training. In February 2007, I found out I was pregnant and decided to go back to braids because I thought braids would last longer and would require less maintenance. So, I said goodbye to my locs and hello to micros. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in May of that same year. For the next 3 years, I cycled through micros, box braids and sew-ins trying to find the one that made me feel like the fierce and fabulous woman I KNEW I was. Eventually it dawned on me-when I had my locs, I didn’t feel like I was going in circles (that was July 2010.) And, locs would give me the look of long, flowing braids with it being ALL MY HAIR! In August, I started my locs and I’ve been fearlessly rockin’ them ever since.

Now it’s 2012 and my 2 year anniversary is approaching. A lot of things have happened in my life (some good and not so good) and like a faithful friend, my dreads have been there for me. They aren’t the funky blonde I had before, but I have big plans for my babies, especially if I can successfully start my own business so I won’t have to worry about my appearance being inappropriate for the workplace. I like to think every bump in my dreads and their fuzziness are symbolic of my life….their growth is a reflection of my own growth.

C’mon, share your story and include a pic or two, we would love to hear it!

Child Support F*@kery, Part Two

According to www.south-carolina-divorce.com , child support in South Carolina uses a formula based on the following items:

The combined gross income of the mother and the father.
 Each parent’s gross income as a percentage of the combined gross income.
Any pre-existing obligation to pay child support or alimony.
The number of minor children of the parties.
The amount paid for work-related child care.
The amount paid for health insurance for the children, and the party responsible for paying it.
The number of overnights per year with each parent.

On paper, the formula looks fair, right? This formula assumes both parents work, but as far as the last item, I don’t know if it assumes the parents in question share custody. My thing is, why doesn’t it say that both parents are REQUIRED to work? I mean, both parents contributed DNA to the child by lying down to perform the act that created said child. 9 out of 10 times the father is the only one working and the mother decides she’s going to mash her behind because now she has gotten the state to dig in the father’s pockets. If she’s not working (in the state of South Carolina, the mother is normally granted custody,) why is work-related child care a factor? SHE’S NOT DOING ANYTHING!!!! SHE CAN’T WATCH HER OWN KID(S)?!?  Once the child support issue has been settled, you know what’s next – applying for and getting all the government assistance she can get so she can chill. Here’s an idea – make her earn that shit. Yes, that’s right, give that woman a job. Help her set-up a small daycare in her home, requiring her to work at least 40 hours week. This way, she can help women who do believe in taking care of their children by holding down a job. If the home daycare idea isn’t plausible, talk with some businesses to establish a network that provides part-time jobs to these women. The bottom line is this – women shouldn’t be allowed to get so much child support and government assistance that they don’t want nor have to work. It’s not healthy for her and it’s not good for the children, especially the girls, to see this lack of drive. They don’t need to witness such manipulation. And, this can be the welfare queen’s contribution to their community.

**SHRUGS SHOULDERS** It’s just a thought, at least.

Random Stuff 3

Sorry I have been M.I.A. lately. I've had a lot going on my life, some good, some bad. All in all though, I'm just rolling like a stone and making it do what it do. One recent little ray of sunshine: I finally landed a job. It wasn't the result of posting/sending numerous resumes to several different job postings online and in the newspaper. This was the result of knowing someone who knew someone and even though it isn't my dream job, it's a job. The gig starts next week and LAWD a sista is happy . . . I miss those paychecks! Also, I want to start my daughter in some sort pre-K/daycare to help her get a head start in school and naturally, that costs MONEY. She also needs to be around other 3 year-olds because this chick is just too grown from hanging around us grownfolk. So, it's going to be good for her and anything that's good for my daughter is freakin awesome for me. Anyway, I hope to do a little better with my posting from now on and get back on my normal schedule (fingers crossed.) Also, I hope the new job won't throw me off too much.

My two year locaversary approaches - YESSSS!!! I swell with pride at that realization - my locs haven't popped off, they've gotten longer and I've learned so much in general about myself and my locs. That, my friends, will be another post at a later date.

Ok, that's enough about me and I should be up to date. What's good with all of you?

Child Support F*@kery, Part One

 I’m gonna catch some flak for this one. Maybe a little…maybe A LOT.

Let me start off by saying that I’m not against child support nor harbor ill will towards some people that receive it. Notice I said “some.” As long as it’s being used for the good of the child, I’m all for it. For those of you who are always clean and fresh but your kids (all 5+ of them) look busted…I have a problem with YOU. Before some of you start yammering – I am a mother of one. ONE. I chose to have only one because one is what I know I can comfortably take care of on my own. Again, before you start poppin lip – her father and I are together, happily holdin it down. My daughter may not look like a rich kid, but she doesn’t look like an orphan, either. Her clothes and shoes are clean and they FIT, her hair is fixed and she’s an extremely healthy soon to be 3 year old. Don’t get it twisted.

There are too many instances of women collecting exorbitant amounts of child support and the money isn’t being used properly. The father still has to come out of pocket for clothes and other items because the children visit him in dirty clothes carrying dirty clothes. Chances are these same women are given SNAP benefits/EBT and the children still complain about not having enough food to eat when they visit their fathers. ABC vouchers are also handed out and these women send their kids to daycare not so they can at least work a P/T gig, but so they can lay up with their boyfriend, practicing making more kids. Or, they’ve got some side hustle they don’t want the little ones to see. Mom is dressed in  brand new Baby Phat, stilettos, freshly weaved up with recently done, ridiculously long gel nails, her boyfriend is dressed down in Coogi, limited edition Jordans and a fitted cap and the kids…look like orphans when they go out. Hand-me-downs, shoes run over to one side and no haircut or hairdo. Not even some simple cornrows.

Huh? What the f#@k?

You then talk about how hard you have it, trying to raise your “babies” that you love so much; you even call them by name out in public knowing good and well when you guys are at home they are little “niggas.” Your baby daddy (or in some cases, daddies) isn’t/aren’t paying enough child support you tell any and every one who’ll listen…you tell your kids every chance you get, “your father ain’t s%#t” even though he’s forced, by the courts, to give you at least half of his paycheck plus carry insurance (health, dental and vision) on the kids that you made together. You work HARD at taking care of kids. Yet, you aren’t required to pay anything. You aren’t even forced to work. You just sit back and chill.

Yeah, right. You work hard, alright…work hard at being trifling. END OF STORY. PERIOD.

TO BE CONTINUED….

Product Review – Jamaican Mango & Lime Locking Crème Wax

When I first wore locks, they were installed with lemon juice and Jamaican Mango & Lime Wax. The young lady who worked her magic sang its praises to the high heavens and said it was the best thing smoking. I went to her 2 more times (every two weeks.) Of course, I asked questions about dreadlock care because my intention was to do it myself. For the life of me, I can’t remember if we discussed wax buildup nor can I remember if I had buildup in my dreads. However, I can remember the waxy, tacky feeling left behind after every retwist that hung around for a good 3 to 5 days.

Fast forward to August 2010 & my 2^nd set of locs. This time, a locking/twist gel was used. I went back once more for a retwist about 3 weeks later. Like the first visit, the gel left my baby dreads white and flaky with an incredibly dry scalp to boot. I wasn’t feeling any of that. So, when it came time for my next wash and retwist, I purchased and used Jamaican Mango & Lime Wax Crème. This product contains petrolatum, mineral oil, micocrystaline wax, D&C yellow #11 and fragrance (parfum.) I’m quite sure you see the BIG no-no’s ingredient in the list – petrolatum and wax. Although not as heavy as it’s sibling, the wax crème still leaves a tackiness that weighs down my usually light dreads. And yes, I have build-up because I have been using it religiously and applying “generously” as instructed to do on the container instead of going the less is more route. But, I will say this – once my dreads absorb it, they are super soft and shiny. There’s no itchy scratchy scalp or flakes. On top of that, they smell great. I love that herbal, natural smell. However, there’s still that buildup!

Will I continue to use the wax crème? Ummm….no. With this buildup, I don’t really have a choice. My next wash and retwist is coming around, so I will start experimenting with some locking gels to find one my dreads will love. In the meantime, I have to work on getting the rest of this buildup out.

What do you use when you retwist? Any suggestions on a good locking gel that doesn’t leave my dreads looking like they’ve been frosted?

Tsk, Tsk SHAME ON YOU

Ladies – some of us need our ass kicked.

You know the ones I’m talking about – the ones who have a decent man at home who takes care of the kids, cleans house and finds the time to spend with her lame ass after working 8+ hours a day. He works so much his woman doesn’t have to work. He doesn’t say much, but all he expects is some hot food when he’s hungry, clean clothes, some loving at night, and a little respect. Too much to ask for? No.

What do you do, though? Absolutely…NOTHING. Since you didn’t get up with him at 6 am, your man went to work on an empty stomach with 2 bologna and cheese sandwiches for lunch. When you finally got up, you decided gossiping with your friends, watching TV and snacking were more important than washing clothes and fixing a little something to stick to your man’s ribs (which, by the way, are showing because those sandwiches were gone 3 hours before he came home.) So, when your boo comes home, the kids are home from daycare/school and running around and he has to settle for what? Wait for it – BOLOGNA AND CHEESE SANDWICHES that he had to fix for himself and the kids! Needless to say, he takes care of the home the rest of the day, gets the kids situated and put to bed thinking he’s gonna relieve a little stress by breaking his woman’s back and BOOM. You hit him with, “Me and some of my girls are going to the club tonight.” Really? Why in the hell would you want to do that to your man?

Ladies, good men are not a dime a dozen. If you have a man that goes above and beyond for you, take care of him. Pamper him a little. Show him he is appreciated by doing the little things he likes. Respect him. Let him know that YOU know he is a keeper. There are too many women out there, circling like vultures, that will come in and swoop your boo up because they know he is solid gold. They will treat him the way your triflin’ ass should’ve treated him and of course, you’ll want to fight. The only person you should be fighting is yourself.

That’s all I have to say. Carry on.

For the New Loc'ers

Just like life, dreadlocks are a constant learning experience. Everything I know about my babies thus far has come from experience and my internet research (blogs have been the most helpful.) Yes, experience is quite the teacher…how else will you get to know your hair without taking care of it yourself? I just want to share a few things I’ve learned along the way:

1.       Research!!! Very important. You can do this before you loc and during your journey because you can never know too much about anything. It will also give you an idea of what to expect when you install your dreads as far as maintenance, styling options and how others are dealing with workplace issues concerning dreads.

2.       Ask Questions!! Veteran dreadlockers are happy to answer questions and give encouragement. They can better explain things you may not understand on the internet concerning dreadlocks.

3.       Be Patient!! Dreadlocks don’t become shoulder-length overnight. It takes love and TIME. So, don’t spend your time watching them grow. Your dreads will have a mind their own and you have to just grit your teeth and roll with it. Their moodiness doesn’t last forever.

4.       Be Attentive!! Your hair will definitely tell you what it likes and doesn’t like.

5.       Develop a routine!! www.mydreadlocks.com has a great article called 5 Easy Dreadlocks Hair Maintenance Tips for Knockout Style under their “Popular Pages” link. A routine is very important for healthy dreads.

6.       Keep It Basic!! Jamaican Mango & Lime products are not the gospel for dreadlocks. Shampoos and conditioners like Suave and V05 are just as effective. Cheap, quality oils can be found if you look hard enough and like I said in a previous post, dreads LOVE water!

Don’t overthink the process, just go with the flow. A few online resources that have helped me tremendously are: www.locrocker.com, www.thekitchensalon.com, www.mydreadlocks.com and www.naturalbeautifulhair.com. These four sites are run by gorgeous sistas with equally gorgeous dreads and Brittany (aka B from locrocker) is quite the character. All provide quality information and good reading to get you started.

Happy locking peeps!

Random Stuff 2

Sometimes, we all get overwhelmed by life. Annoyed with the ones we love. Totally and completely frustrated with ourselves. And, that’s okay because as humans equipped with intelligence, we think of ways to push through things like this. But, it takes the willpower we were blessed with to put those ways to use.

In the last two years, I’ve come pretty close to giving up on myself. I’m a worrier and I tend to worry most about stuff I don’t understand. When I was hospitalized in 2010 with congestive heart failure due to an enlarged heart (cardiomyopathy,) I was scared as hell because any issue with your strawberry tart (Jason Statham, Crank 2,) is something extremely serious. All I could think was why me and how in the hell did I get to this point? My condition was so dire, my cardiomyopathy was described as end-stage. Finally, I was released and my pill regimen was 7 pills a day, one of which had to be taken 3 times a day. Yes, I cried A LOT. I couldn’t sleep. I was angry because people whose lifestyle was way worse than mine (no exercise, heavy smokers, fast food eaters to my moderate exercise, no smoking, relatively healthy eating) had better tickers. With all that negativity brewing inside of me, I really felt like giving up because I didn’t want to live like that. Then, I thought about what one of the doctors told me in the hospital-if you can find the discipline and determination to do as your doctors tell you, you can get better. The road to that is long and not easy, but you can get there because you caught a break. Your heart walls are thick and that can be worked with. Holding on to that small nugget of positivity, I began to make changes. More exercise. Less red meat and fried food, more chicken and fish (baked, broiled, grilled.) Lots more fruit and veggies. Naturally, these led to other changes in my life, other positives that continue to build on each other.

As of June 2011, my heart efficiency was up to 45% from a mind numbing 25%. On top of that, I’m now on five pills and I’m still 68 pounds lighter. My dark periods with my health still visit, but I focus on all the accomplishments I have under my belt. I will get better. Be easy and stay on top of your health.

Most importantly, NEVER GIVE UP.

P.S. If you all are interested in my progress or would like to know more about congestive heart failure and cardiomyopathy, let me know and I’ll make sure to include more entries.

Loc Inspiration

I must be doing something right.

My current P/T gig is delivering telephone books. Several of my stops were businesses where loc’ed folks frequent. I saw all types: long, short, thin, chunky and they were in a myriad of colors. I was in love (did I mention all but one of them was male?) I noticed something about them: they looked dull. I know some people’s hair texture, even when healthy, doesn’t shine except with outside aid. Anyway, several people were staring at my babies and the lone young lady questioned me about them. Now, her thick, manicured bra-strap length dreads were tipped reddish purple. They looked healthy. When I told her what I used and how often, she asked what product gave my dreads their shininess because she wanted hers to shine like mine.

I told her there’s no one thing. I wash every two weeks, use an ACV rinse & baking soda rinse once a month, spritz my hair daily with oil/water, etc. I use Jamaican Mango & Lime products. I increased fruit and vegetables in my diet. Water intake I have to monitor closely, but I’ve been replacing sweetened beverages with water. She thanked me for the information and went about her business. The fellas started asking about my dreads and I told them the same thing; I also had to add that I don’t start dreads and I don’t maintain anyone else’s (yeah, total agony saying that to some of them.)

The point of this entry – people can see when you take good care of your dreads and want to know your “secret.” If there’s any “secret,” maybe it is your love for your hair. And, it’s always nice to have a veteran loc’er ask about your dreads when you’re only a year & some change into your journey. **WINKS**

Random Stuff 1

Sometimes, it's all about family.

My eldest brother and his family used to live in Columbus, OH and they've finally moved back home like good little boys and girls. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother to death, but LAWD his kids...I love those three like my own daughter...you would think I had those three myself (thankfully I didn't - could you imagine how I would look from the stress of raising FOUR kids?!?)

 We spent Memorial Day weekend together in Rock Hill; Aviana, Dorrien, Donovon and Houston had a damn good time running around the apartment, getting to know each other. My brother and I had a few beers and gave each other a hard time, just like in the old days before we grew up. My mom, I know, had a good time watching us talk. There was a perpetual smile on her face and one on mine, as well. It felt wonderful being around everyone and just vibing. Laughter was contagious and the love was unmistakable. I was definitely aware of how blessed I was to have such amazing people to call my family despite our many ups and downs and numerous rifts. You see, my brother and I had a falling out after our father died in 2008...I'm sure those that knew us probably figured we were gonna beef for a long time; hell, we didn't even speak for awhile. It was one of the most painful times of my life...we had just lost our dad, my partner in crime. This past weekend, I couldn't help but regret, a little, the time we wasted. Life is too short...hell, my life may be shorter than most because of poor decision-making. With that in mind, it is sooo vital to enjoy weekends like that. It's important to appreciate family.

So with that in mind, I loved this weekend spent in Rock Hill & nothing will replace it. Love your family and, no matter what happens, take advantage of EVERY opportunity to spend with each other 'cause IT'S ALL ABOUT FAMILY.

Makeup Love

I LOVE makeup.

I started wearing makeup in the 7^th grade. It was the “play” makeup you could buy out of places like Toys R Us or off the toy aisle in Kmart. You know what I’m talking about. Then, my mother started giving me her old makeup as she bought herself more when she saw that I was wearing it “responsibly.” Magazines like Cosmopolitan, Ebony and Jet were my teachers. The women on those pages inspired me and I practiced like crazy to mimic their look.

Right now I’m stuck on Avon. Their eyeshadows are to die for because they are rich in color and go on like silk. They can be purchased individually (the Mark line) for those who like to put together our own palettes or as color coordinated groups of duos and quads in the hottest shades. On the boxes, Avon provides directions and a diagram on how to apply your shadow for maximum effect. Even though eyeliner is not my usual thing (dark eyeshadow is my preferred liner,) Avon has several that provide everything from just a hint of sparkle (Glimmersticks) to gel-like perfection (Mega Impact.) Mascara? In this you have volumizing, clump proof and extending formulas in black and brown/black. Lipsticks and glosses? Several flavors are offered here with a variety of velvety, fun colors for the sultry diva or the flirtatious butterfly. I don’t wear foundation, but from what I’ve heard other people say, Avon’s foundation provides even, realistic coverage with no breakouts or itchiness. Price of this cosmetic goldmine? Quite affordable, even on my practically non-existent income and, Avon runs the most awesome sales. Check it out . . . you might find something you’ll like.

If there’s a particular product you want me to do a review on from Avon, shoot me an email and I’ll be happy to give a more detailed review. Until then, be easy!!!!!

Water & Dreads

If I don’t know anything else about dreads, I know this – they . . . love. . . WATER.

I’m speaking from experience. During my research, I have seen a lot of sites touting the benefits of water on your locs. Most of the people whose locs I love spritz their hair with water/oil daily. Others run water through them between washes. All of them say they drink tons of water. Our bodies are made up of about 60% water (this can vary with age, muscle vs. fat ratio, etc.) and it is VITAL for a lot of major bodily functions. So, if you’re not properly hydrated, the wonderful machine we call our body could care less if you sported luxurious hair because it’s more concerned with making sure it has enough water to digest the salad you just ate or transport important vitamins, minerals and nutrients to your cells. And, since I have added daily spritzes to my routine, my dreads have gotten noticeably stronger and I believe I have even detected some growth outside of what I consider “normal” for my hair. Imagine that.

The best kind of love you can offer your dreads is the wet kind – water. Lavish them with spritzes (these are a nice way to help keep cool during the summer, too.) Spoil your body with at least 6 glasses of water a day. Don’t be afraid to get your beauties wet in the shower once a week (this will also help keep your scalp refreshed, just make sure they are completely dry before covering them.) Water is definitely magic and it will perform a trick for you – healthy, fabulous dreads.

Small Locs, Anyone?

All locs, big or small, are beautiful.

During all my research on the care and history of traditional locs (or dreads, for those of you that actually like that word) I’ve seen hundreds of pics full of them in all sizes, lengths and colors. Drool much? Yes much… I’m surprised I still have my laptop. One of the things you should think about when deciding to loc your hair is their size because it will definitely have an effect on your loc experience.

I personally rock smaller locs; they’re slightly smaller than a #2 pencil. I LOVE them. I have around 200 locs, maybe a few more than that. I’m also a DIY’er. With that being said, it takes me a good minute or two to wash and retwist (I usually have a couple movies nearby.) Yes, my arms and shoulders are hella tired when I get done.  Since my locs are small, they’re light. Their lightness makes it hard to judge exactly how long they are just by eyeballing them. And, I’ve had to combine a few of them early because of their small size around my hairline (I didn’t have the best maintenance routine because of my own lack of knowledge and following those dreadlock myths.) With small locs and thankfully thick hair, I look like I have a head full of hair. These same small locs, when curled, look so kick ass (cute, tight little ringlets) and the curls seem to last forever. And, they are virtually weightless. No headaches, no stiff neck, and no discomfort from locs that are too “heavy.”

I live in South Carolina (southern bred, cornbread fed, etc.) and summer is upon us. It gets very hot and equally muggy thanks to the high humidity. Yes, I’m eager to see how I fare this year because now I have dreads on my neck, ears and forehead and I’m a sweater. I plan to spend a lot of time in the water trying to stay cool, so I will be doing more research to tweak my hair routine so my dreads will stay fabulous. We shall see what we’ll see.

What size are your locs and what do you feel are the pros and cons of your chosen size?

Introduction

After weeks of reading natural hair blogs, I decided to start my own and named my baby Loc’d and Loaded. Of course, the name stems from the fact I’m a beautiful black woman rocking some AWESOME locs and my mind is loaded with lots of topics for this project. This blog will be loaded with posts, pics, product reviews and interviews dealing with locs. I have a natural haired (and boy do I mean natural) 2 year- old and because of her there will be plenty of stuff about loose, natural hair. In addition to various hair topics, there will be posts regarding current events, everyday life, relationships, etc. We may even touch on religion, as well. My aim is to create a well-rounded blog that educates, informs and entertains.

I suppose I should tell you a little about myself as well. My name is Ayneka and I’m 32. People and writing have always been a passion of mine, but it just wasn’t bringing in the kind of money I wanted when I was in my early 20s. I have a 2, soon to be 3 year old and a boyfriend/baby daddy/husband (we’re not “officially” married.)

Contributions are definitely welcome! If you have any tips or pictures you would like to share, please email them to rushgirlsc01@gmail.com. Also, if you know anyone with great hair (locs or natural hair, please) or locticians or beauticians, please send me their contact information and I’ll definitely include them in the blog.

Thanks in advance for all of your support and encouragement. Happy reading!